Not over

I was holding out well

Thought it was over;

I had moved on

And everything was back to normal.

I made the mistake

Of meeting you again-

The scent of your body

The feel of your hair on my face

The overpowering sense of love

Blew my pretentious self-restraint away

Made me realize

Nothing could ever be normal.

I long to snatch you from the world

and hold you in my arms again

To feel your hair, your breath on my skin

I long for a day, when you'd be mine

Even if for a single day

For in my heart I know

You will never be mine

And I will always love you.

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I wanted to waste myself

For failing to stand up to me;

I wanted to hurt them

and in some twisted, perverted corner of my mind

I figured the best way to do that

Would be to hurt the one thing they care about the most;

I wanted to find a way to heaven

Without attaining salvation;

So here I am, in the beautiful world

with greener grass and sweeter wine

Going out, but on my own terms

I have no regrets.

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Do Valkyries come

For vengeful, arrogant souls?

As the being clamors

trying to break every possible rule

A rebel without a cause

Desperate acts of defiance

Acts of anger, strength, stamina

to show there is fire inside

Bubbles, all bubbles

The little child inside

withdraws further into his corner

lonely and scared,

desperately needing some love

that never comes

Fearful eyes darting here and there.

The frenzied bull rages on outside

Determined to shield the child at any cost.

The Night

The Cricket chirps in the distance
in the otherwise silent night
As we draw closer
I can smell the animal in her
the wild beast in me awakens:
I drink from her, the forbidden
nectar of lust, not love;
the warm breath, in my ear
whispers: "I love you"
Her fingers dig into my flesh
- a pain that causes pleasure
My palpitation grows stronger
The stench of sweat
Mine and hers, mixed-
The night draws longer.

10 weird things about me

(borrowed the idea from a friend)

1. I am a bit eccentric and love to overplay my eccentricity to make people think I am a wacko (so that they mostly stay away)

2. I love dogs, but at the same time they mostly scare the hell outta me

3. I can drink hot steaming tea/coffee and shikanji at the same time at relish it

4. The only time I am truely, truely happy is when I fall in love in my dreams

5. I do not understand girls

6. I am quite a vengeful person. The flipside is that I have trouble forgiving myself (and usually don't)

7. I write to vent. When I was a kid and did not write, I used to get into fights to vent.

8. There is this part inside me that still remains a child and refuses to grow up. I sometimes use it, usually with deadly results.

9. I have a thing for perfumes. I keep on buying them.

10. At times, I love every man/woman on this planet. At most other times, I detest the whole of humanity (except for my friends)

Fallen

The eternal evanescence of the soul
Coupled with my corporeal ascent;
This life, the farce;
With the false poet, the protagonist.

The heart yearns for love, yet
the unscrupulous brain churns out ruthless ambitions
The idealistic psyche and the machiavillian mind
Wage a constant crusade for control of the being

The ronin searches for his cause
Amidst the wasteland;
Unaware that each step he takes
Serves to veer him further from the path of honour and glory.

Wasted:

Bruised ego

Tattered pride

Broken hopes

Futile dreams

Scarred memories

Faithless love

Empty bottles

Cigarette stubs

A cocked revolver

Awaits the russian roulette.